• Life as a "spoonie"

    10 reasons I feel blessed.

    10 reasons I feel blessed. I could write daily about the way fibro, CFS & ptsd etc make my life unbearable on a regular basis, but instead I’m choosing to focus on the positives or specifically 10 reasons I feel blessed. Living with chronic ill health tends to make me a grumpy cow A LOT of the time! So to make myself appreciate the little things in life I like to “count my blessings” or pick out the happy parts of my day. The Hubby often tells me how strong I am, not physically, (I struggle to open a packet of crisps/chips) mentally. Normally I’d disagree & put myself down.…

  • Family,  Life as a "spoonie"

    November Blues…

    November blues… I’m not particularly superstitious, walking under ladders sure if there’s no other way round it. Black cats crossing my path ok. Although I do have a habit of knocking on wood to prevent bad luck? November however has been a month throughout my life that has been when I’ve experienced some of my worst traumas & subsequently gives me the sense of dread or as I like to put it, the November blues. November 1st. It’s not something I consciously consider but it’s like November 1st rolls around & this uneasy feeling settles over me. November blues kicks in after a few days & I struggle to do…

  • Family

    Pregnancy loss & what it means to me.

    Pregnancy Loss & what it means to me contains my personal accounts of miscarriage, this may be triggering or upsetting for some. Pregnancy loss & miscarriage – what it means to me. October is pregnancy, stillbirth & infant loss month. The 15th is the Pregnancy, infant & stillborn loss remembrance day so in preparation for that day I wanted to share with you my stories. I’ve had to 2 miscarriages in my life & rarely speak about them, that needs to change so here’s my story. Loss, the word can mean so much to one person and so little to another. “I lost some money gambling on the horses” “…

  • Family,  Life as a "spoonie"

    Memories and music

    Memories and music… I’ve always loved music. Growing up I don’t really remember music being a big part of our lives when my father was around but once my parents separated my mother played music all the time.  As a family we love music & our taste in music is very diverse. I can literally love anything from a classical piece like Pachabels cannon in D, which I walked down the aisle to, to Eminem’s Loose yourself. I do have a love of certain bands that I’ve loved since I was young & still follow them to this day. Sometimes I just love the odd song whether it’s a cheesy…

  • Life as a "spoonie"

    Insomnia, fibromyalgia or PTSD?

    Fibromyalgia, PTSD or anxiety? The inability to make myself fall asleep even when i’m so physically exhausted, that i’m feeling nauseous because of it, is and forever has been  frustrating to me. I never know whether the insomnia is being caused by my fibromyalgia or my PTSD and anxiety. What I do know is this. My brain for some reason decides that 2am is a perfectly acceptable time to rehash everything ive done, not done and want to do, to hell with the fact that i’m actually meant to be asleep! Even when I was young! It’s always been that way. From as young as I can remember i’ve been…